Caregivers in our program report that one of the most difficult aspects of caregiving is having to watch a loved one in pain. They report feeling frustrated when they can’t do anything to help. And they feel guilty pursuing any comfort or pleasure themselves, almost feeling the need to suffer as well. Unfortunately, this creates a vicious cycle because the less a caregiver tends to his own needs, the less able he or she is to take care of a loved one, particularly one who is in pain.
Palliative care is medical care that specializes in the relief of the pain, symptoms and stress of serious illness. It is not only for those at the end of life and may be a way for your family member to experience relief. As a caregiver, you can explore options available to you by talking with your physician or home care nurse. Some tips to consider from the National Family Caregivers Association:
- Believe your loved one’s report of pain.
- Pay attention to the signs that indicate that your loved one might be in pain. These may include facial expressions, breathing and sighing heavily, unusual body movements, behavioral changes (such as not wanting to eat or sleep), or mental changes such as crying or irritability.
- Speak up for your loved one when you go to the doctor, including insisting on managing his/her pain.
Try to be as specific as possible when talking with your health care team – write down where in the body your family member is feeling the pain, when it occurs, and what it feels like. If the recommendations made do not work, be honest about that and continue to look for solutions.
And remember – it’s still vital that you as a caregiver find time for yourself – to get a break from your caregiving duties, to manage your own health, and to pursue your own interests so you can be there for your loved one when they need you.
